Christmas Scooters Gone Wild

Back together here in Ho Chi Mihn City, Vietnam after my week of running around Angkor Wat and Cambodia solo, Nadine and I are glad to be back in the same time zone, home of scooters.

Reunited Family

My bus from Cambodia chugged a little faster across the border than Nadine’s plane, so I touched Vietnamese ground first, and thus held responsibility of checking into and finding our hostel. After a diverted taxi ride followed the most indirect route possible around central HCMC to cover two blocks, our hostel was located. But as soon as I dropped the bags in our room, another taxi took me to pick up Nadine at the airport.

At the airport an hour early, I took advantage to eat and talk with people outside the airport exit. This banter impeded my ability to consistently watch the exit, as Nadine left without notice. She walked around five minutes looking for me. I then decided to walk around and looking for her. Just as I got off my duff, Nadine rounded the corner with an instantaneous look of relief. Back together again at least. Just imagine two folks running across a wheat field in a made for t.v. movie in slow motion, except Nadine was lugging her backpack and a little peanut sized baby.

First Impressions

Your first impressions of HCMC right off of the plane and bus are not going to be “this is a beautiful, quiet, relaxed place with a handful of scooters and cars.” Heck no, it’s “hit you upside the head with the speed this place has either cloned scooters with great efficiency or all 6 million people here own 2 of them”.

HCMC doesn’t have alot of green space so I can’t say that this place is way too green, no, I might describe it as way too gray.

As you walk around HCMC trying to avoid being hit by scooters or cars, you realize this place is just plain chaotic. But, a big but here, a few parks provide refuge. Just jump in one of these and the pollution, blaring horns, and passing vehicles, now 400 meters away, just fade away in your little spot of bliss. Momentarily.

Reuniting?

During our time here, we have spent a good amount of time looking for temp teaching jobs, but we did go visit one place of interest, the Reunification Palace. This was the presidential palace until Viet Comm took over the palace in April 1975. What really makes this place interesting, other than the fact that it was once a presidential palace, was all the great furniture, carpet, and styles directly from the 70’s. Shagadelic baby! Oh yea!

Let’s Play Chicken With Vietnamese Scooters

As this video illustrates, crossing the road here is truly an adventure in itself. There is a proven method to successfully crossing the street even if it does go against everything your mind and body tell you to do at the same time. Begin by walking across the street very slowly, but always keeping your eye contact with oncoming traffic and the drivers. They will slyly and pass you by mere inches, but still not cause certain death. And if there are two and a half of you crossing, you hold hands just like you are in kindergarten and stay shoulder to shoulder. The one thing you don’t want to do is just stand there, that would throw them off, and they would have no other choice than to run you over for being stupid.

A Career In Coconuts

Everywhere you go in HCMC, you are approached to buy something, fruit, watches, tours, illegal substances, small children, individual cities, and coconuts. We have grown to love coconuts during our trip. After we walked out of the Reunification Palace, I figured we should take some video of me crossing the street safely over to the other side were two boys sold coconuts. Of note, they carry the coconuts with a bamboo stick over their shoulders attached to a pan with coconuts on one end and a cooler on the other. I figured I would have some fun with them, and I would help them sell some coconuts, to help differentiate themselves from all the other coconut sellers. Maybe the novelty of a white westerner selling them would drum up some more business. A group of Japanese tourists did walk by, and amused by this unusual site, asked me how much they cost, and in favor of helping the local economy, kept walking. They did improve their health with a laugh. Vietnam has taught me that my coconut selling skills are weak.

My strategy from the street corner was to yell, “Buy your fresh coconut juice, only 10,000 dong!” Not only was this a surprise to tourists, but it was a big surprise to locals driving their scooters. Unexpectedly, several drivers took their eyes off of the road to puzzle of this white coconut seller that it caused a scooter on car accident. As people craned their necks around to look at me, they forgot about the immediate intimacy of each other. Fortunately no one was hurt in the scooter-car pileup, but the three people on the scooter were a little shaken, not stirred. Time to find another corner to hawk coconut juice, if only for the safety of us all.

A Christmas Party

To properly celebrate Christmas, we decided to attend Christmas Eve Mass at Notre Dame Cathedral. As we approached the centrally located church, the thousands of people made it more and more difficult to walk. Never experiencing a Christmas celebration this lively in West Texas, the Vietnamese celebrated around the church like it was Carnaval in Rio, minus the costumes of course, or the release of new chili sauce in New Mexico. The throngs of people danced, threw firecrackers, sprayed each other with shaving cream and silly string, and at the occasional tourist. This was just to reach the front gates of the church.

Upon reaching the front gates with only glitter on our cheeks, we sat there with hundreds of people pushing up against the front gates. I felt like a boat adrift at sea, albeit a tall boat as I could see everything happen over the heads of the short Vietnamese around me. Thirty minutes of not being allowed entrance into church, we used our “whiteness” to learn why we couldn’t get in. They told us that the entrance was on the other side of the cathedral via a side door. Just like that, we were in church without the pressing crowd surrounding us.

Once inside, we sat among a couple thousand Vietnamese and a spattering of Westerners sitting down in pews, directly behind a pillar. So we sat and listened to Mass in Vietnamese staring at a big piece of concrete directly in front of us. Half way into service, the ushers opened the front gates, and a wave of people waiting outside rushed in. As the pews were already completely full, the crowd filled the vacant aisles. We sat there among at least 5,000 people. Without a doubt to date, this was the craziest Mass we’d ever attended. Merry Christmas to all 5,000 of y’all! Or at least the thousand within 20 feet!

Turkey During Christmas

To complete our Christmas week celebrations, we bowled again just for the heck of it. We were both equally astonished as I started off our game with 4 strikes, that’s a turkey plus a turkey leg. I was one pin away from 5 strikes in a row. After a weak middle section of the game, I finished off with two more strikes, and a total score of 191. Personal high score. Who knew we would realize our bowling prowess on this trip?

Dancing. That is something we both like to do. During our travels we have created a new dance, the Under Budget Dance. Anytime we stay under our budget for the day, we end the day with our dance. Simply put both arms out like the Macarena, do the cabbage patch, and sing “We’re under budget,” and you have successfully done the Under Budget Dance. Why is this important? Staying under budget everyday in Vietnam, so we’ve been dancing a lot each night. So when you are sitting at work at 10 a.m. and feel like joining us, just stand up and do the dance.

Life is good for all two and a half of us. Our checkup with the doctor in Bangkok went well and all of the tests came back, and Nadine is in good health. A two-week stint has been set up to teach English to a group of nuns just north of Ho Chi Minh City/Saigon.

Enjoy your holiday break and have a great New Years. Have a drink for us and Nadine will have a juice and I will have Saigon Red for y’all.

Peace and Love
J.W.