How to Fly to Papua New Guinea via Australia for $20
Eleven months ago, my friend Scuba Steve from Tulsa strongly considered being a volunteer with the Capuchins in Papua New Guinea. Before he even made his final decision, my flight from Omaha to Port Moresby had been booked. The remaining task was convincing the green chili loving New Mexican, Matthew Pepper, to follow suit.
As a professed travel junkie, I’ve played a game we call “The Miles Game” to travel for free or on the cheap, and finding ways to collect a substantive amount of miles to support my travel in various means. These miles have allowed me and my family to travel internationally. So I introduced Pepper to this game and he scored enough miles to accompany me over to a forgotten country. He was on board.
A recent goal of mine has been to fly an international, long haul flight in any class other than sitting back in the cattle crawl section. After some effort and research, I acquired enough miles to fly from Omaha – Dallas – Los Angeles – Sydney, Australia – Cairns – Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea in business class. Paying for this flight directly with American Airlines or Qantas would have cost me $10,000, it cost me $20.
This Seat Includes Free Drinks?
With My Head in the Clouds
Ever since I began flying with my Mom as a kid, what has truly drawn me to travel is the ability to simply observe different cross sections of humanity from the air. It’s a unique position as an observer only made commercially possible in the last half century. No interactions. Just watch farms, cities, cars, and people from an aerial view and guess what is happening. This time though, that metal tube transported me luxuriously from the ultra modernity and efficiency of the United States to a culture lacking any resemblance of efficiency living out life with a tribal mentality.
There’s Some Leg Room!
A Foreign Experience
Flying at the front of the plane was a completely foreign experience. The delicious food that used to waft into the economy class making my mouth water sat on the tray in front of me. There was plenty of leg room as my knees never were never wedged between me and the seat in front of me. Champagne was served immediately upon boarding the Sydney flight with a menu on my seat.
Interesting people surrounded me in business class. (In fact, I am always surrounded by interesting people on planes). One guy had been on the USPS cycling team and rode a few training rides with Lance Armstrong (he wasn’t surprised about the doping). On another flight, an Aussie tax accountant frequently shuttled back and forth between Sydney and California to work with his clients. Basically, I felt as out of place as a thief at church.
Pepper sat in his own type of business class, economy class. With his short, stubby legs, it must have felt very spacious.
Our frequent flyer flights were separate. Pepper and I didn’t run into each other until the vacant international airport terminal in Cairns, Australia. We picked up a few necessities before heading north. Me some Tim-Tams, and Pepper some alcohol. I guess you can take the Pepper out of New Mexico, but you can’t take the New Mexican alcoholic tendencies out of Pepper.
Our flight carried us over the Great Barrier Reef to a land of contrasts that did something to me that hasn’t happened to me in a long time while traveling, it challenged me.
XXXX Beer Proudly Blessed by the Brewer
Welcome to Papua New Guinea! Expected the Unexpected
Betel Nut Not Allowed
Bloody Port Moresby Surprises
Hot, wet air greeted our touchdown on the Port Moresby tarmac. With no time to waste, Pepper and I swiftly entered immigration prepared with our three-page visa application, 100 PNG kina, and passport photos. I approached the PNG immigration officer who apathetically looked at my passport and printed my bright yellow PNG visa. Did she need my visa application? “Sure.” Then she tossed it aside. That may have been the first one all day.
A quick visit to the restroom produced the second surprise. Not the trashcan that held the door open, but the several blood stains that appeared on the trashcan from someone who may have recently suffered a mortal wound. Scuba Steve would soon describe this as the spit from someone chewing betel nut and coral.
Can You Tell Which Person Slept Best on their Cross Pacific Flight?
Some handlers ushered us into the domestic terminal to catch our final flight to Madang on the state owned airline, Air Niugini. Gliding to the counter, the gate agent informed both of us that the flight was closed . . . 35 minutes before its’ scheduled departure and we can see it just sitting there.
Within 15 minutes of our arrival to Papua New Guinea, we were introduced to what PNG had for us, the unexpected. Just like that, we were going to spend our first night in what the Intelligence Unit of The Economist ranked 139 out of 140 of the least livable cities, Port Moresby.
Just when the Air Niugini truck pulled up to our hotel 35 minutes later, our Madang flight was taking off overhead.
Welcome to PNG!
Next: Refrain From Sex, Part 1
2 comments
Gesh, who is that really young looking man that sort of looks like me?
Great blog post. You forgot to describe just how much you bragged about all of your great food you had. And the absolute crap we got back in the cattle car. I kept on hoping you’d choke.
The current you looks really, really, really tired.