Ancient Roman Sex Ed

An Educator’s Perspective of Traveling Abroad with Teenagers to Italy

Without a doubt, travel has changed in the last 15 years.

For me at least.

Yet, my love for travel has not ceased.

The manner in which I wander has evolved.

Gone are the days of traveling with buddies around Europe for 6 weeks or around the world with Nadine with only two pairs of underwear.

As a World Languages teacher, I have led or helped chaperone five trips to France, Spain, Italy, Costa Rica, and Panamá.

My role as a traveler has matured. Now I’m responsible to lead and guide students in their learning, linguistic, and cultural journey. Parents put me in charge of their teenage children . . . on foreign soil.

This is what crosses my mind when I travel with youth and use a recent trip to Italy as the case study.

Let’s Check Those Emotions

Teenagers are emotional beings. And travel plays with these emotions like a stewardess from first-class tempts you holding gourmet plates of cheese just behind the curtains separating the economy and business classes.

Right off the bat, our first flight to Atlanta was delayed . . . for five hours.

Panic sets in. Students worry.

“Are we even going to make it to Italy?”

“Are we going to have to stay the entire time in Atlanta?”

At this point, as the veteran teacher and tour leader that I am, a plan was hatched. A simple $10 bill from each student in hopes that a small bribe to the gate agent may make a plane magically appear.

It didn’t work, but I pocketed a cool $220. As a veteran teacher, I informed the students that the agent couldn’t do anything at that time. But on the bright side, I now had Italian spending money. Thanks kids.

Bodily Functions – Friend or Foe?

A little delayed, but two planes transported us safely to Rome.

Parents constantly make sure that everyone goes to the restroom at every rest stop on the road, now just imagine your family has 24 members. Anytime one student has to use the facilities, everyone is strongly encouraged to follow suite. And just like any family, especially those found in New Mexico, some folks are bit slower than others. This extra time provides a chance to sit back and soak in the local culture.

During the first full day in Rome, one of a dozen pee stops was next to the Spanish steps.

Apparently a law states that only taxis are allowed to drive in the vicinity of the Spanish Steps.

And it’s safe to assume that Ferrari owners are probably not accustomed to being told no in life. It surprised an older man to be pulled over in his shiny, red Ferrari along with his trophy wife for violating traffic law. For the next 25 minutes, he pleaded his case. Like any good Italian, his hands flew in every direction pleading his case. This all transpired while students looked on curiously in amazement (some students take a long time to go the restroom with long lines). The guy in the red Ferrari might have provided the most excitement all day.

(Quick Joke – You know how to keep an Italian quiet? Hold their hands behind their back)

Crime

According to certain students, the Fontana di Trevi was made famous by a Lizzie McGuire Disney movie filmed there, not the fact that the importance of this location originated before Jesus. As a result of Lizzie’s infinite influence, the Trevi Fountain is now packed with tourists like New Mexican homes are packed with old corn tortillas. I didn’t immediately think, “OH MY GOD, I MUST GET MY PHOTO TAKEN JUST LIKE LIZZIE THROWING A COIN!”, but remind students to keep their backpacks pegged to their chests and pockets free of wandering hands.

Law and Order / Lost in Translation

Mussolini’s Il Vittoriano, or better known as the Wedding Cake, is characterized by the white marble steps leading up to the tomb of the unknown soldier. Keeping this popular centralized spot under control from hooligans is a police officer carrying a really big whistle with a really mean look across his face. Fearless to blow his whistle at anyone acting the fool.

Pretty sure now that American football must not be too popular right now in Italy, or at least with old police officers with big, scary, loud whistles. I thought that there wasn’t any better pose than the Heisman pose in front of the tomb of the unknown soldier. Apparently it’s not. In front of the marble steps, with a brief moment without other posing tourists, I pulled out my best Desmond Howard.

Immediately, the whistle blowing officer tramped directly towards me demanding that I stop such obscene gestures. I have to admit that tooting yellow whistle really taught the world a lesson that we shall never repeat. Remember, no Heisman poses. You have been warned.

Sex Ed – Pompeii Style

Pompeii, the town destroyed by Mount Vesuvius in the year 79 AD, favored sex education. Discovered hidden under all that ash stood government buildings, a coliseum, homes, and um, . . . brothels. Carved into the town streets were arrows indicating explicitly the location of the nearest brothel, just like the location of the nearest supermarket. Upon a patron’s arrival to the brothel, the painted walls instructed guests how best to proceed. And to add that one special touch, each brothel included admission to one really, short, rock bed.

Stereotypes

Following Pompeii’s lessons, we headed towards heaven and the cause of Pompeii’s past demise and current popularity, Mount Vesuvias. Located at Parco Nazionale di Vesuvia, we raced to the top of the still smoldering volcano to be greeted by our volcano guide, Giovanni. He immediately turned into what I would describe as the stereotypical Italian male. With slicked back black hair, Giovanni claimed that his “alligator wife” had made life rough for him, so he spent his time leading tourists around Mt. Vesuvius. I never figured out why his description of his wife included an alligator, but I figured I would have a little fun with his machoism.

Once the group rounded half of the smoldering cone, a certain spot echoes your voice counter clockwise around the cone back to you. Giovanni yelled something about an alligator. I then informed the students to yell “Westside!” Not to be outdone by a fashionless American, he had students yell something about Italy “Tight jeans!”. I encouraged students yell “alligator”. Once again, he had them do a fifth yell “Olive oil!”. By this time, the kids had enough of this male foolishness and walked away. I’m sure all would agree I won.

Economics

Being the expert traveler I modestly claim, it’s important that students know how to find a good deal and make wise purchases. For example, I needed a fine Italian leather wallet. The kind of wallet that says, “I’m a very impressive person.”

The search for a fine leather good took place at the coastal town of Sorrento. We compared quality of leathers, price, durability. Eventually, we all decided, attempted to bargain, and purchased our goods. Mine being a nice mahogany colored piece of leather wallet. In my self perceived wisdom, in Rome I realized that my wallet carries Euro bills quite well, but the longer, thinner American greenbacks, not so much. That’s experience right there for ya.

Culture

Public displays of affection in public areas is a popular aspect of Italian culture. Couples making out on benches surprised our students. A few even had fun with it.

One calm evening during dinner, a young couple spoke the language of love on the grey stone bench right next to our tables. One mischievous senior approached and asked, “Can I sit on that bench?” Cooler heads would have promptly responded “no”, but since I was the chaperone, I responded, “Sure, but be in stealth mode, not to disturb them.” He quietly sat on the bench, and his buddy snapped a quality photo as proof. The couple then realized the attention coming their direction from the foreigners, they calmly stood up and found another park bench.

Religion

Even though I have visited Rome and St. Peters Basilica a couple of times now, I learned an interesting fact, or forgot it, and then relearned it. There are a couple of Popes that were exhumed from their tombs and whose flesh hadn’t decayed. Their bodies were placed on display on the main floor. Here’s a game for your next Vatican visit, is this Pope real or a statue.

Gastronomy

I have always been of the strong opinion that the best food in the world originates in Italy. This trip upheld my point of view. Il Boom provided the best meal with a wide array of pork, pasta, and wine (teachers only of course). All came away thoroughly satiated and content with life. Italian food never disappoints.

With that, I’m heading to Uruguay for three weeks in late July as part of the 2012 Uruguay Educator Exchange Program fellowship. With this trip, I will write a blog a day, 21 in total, but they will be in Spanish, and I do not promise a translation into English. So if you would like to review your Spanish, enjoy the reading over the next three weeks.